


Curious Carvings

by localfreak



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen, Holidays, Road Trips, ley lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:09:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28427574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/localfreak/pseuds/localfreak
Summary: Written for the 12 Days of Christmas Challenge 2020 Prompt 1: Unusual Place. Crowley and Aziraphale have a little chat on a quiet Herefordshire roadside.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6
Collections: 12 Days of Christmas Challenge 2020





	Curious Carvings

“Oh!” Crowley, over the years, had become reasonably adept in reading Aziraphale’s exclamations, and pulled the Bentley over onto the side of the road, in front of a farm gate. He had a feeling the picnic the angel had been planning was about to be derailed. 

“I just felt it,” Aziraphale closed his eyes and Crowley tried not to ogle him too closely, the expression on the angel’s face- the slight fluttering of a smile at his lips, the way he shifted his weight. Well, it was either a particularly fruity vintage or- ah- there it was. A kind of fizzing cord of power running somewhere along the road and thrumming in the base of Crowley’s spine and along his temples. It wasn’t painful, but not particularly comfortable. A bit like the pins-and-needles feeling after a sudden pain or electric shock. 

“Feels holy.”

“Not entirely my dear boy- older than anything here and strong with it but-“ Aziraphale licked his lips like he was at a wine tasting- “Ah yes, I remember it now. I wonder if there’s anything left – oh-“ he glanced at Crowley, “never mind, let’s get on should we-?"

“We can stop at an old church if you want,” Crowley sighed, “I’m staying in the car though.”

Aziraphale looked torn, “I- I mean if it wouldn’t be a trouble, I’d just love to see it for a moment- would only take a minute, of course.”

“Fine by me, Angel.” Crowley pulled back out onto the road, “Where are we going?”

Even with Aziraphale functioning like a celestial sat-nav they nearly missed the turn and Crowley drove up the steep road and parked by the wooden gate. You could barely see the church at all in the car until suddenly- amidst a vast and leafy canopy of trees- there it was. A little grey-stoned unassuming place from a distance. 

“Woah,” Crowley muttered. 

“Enchanting,” Aziraphale agreed, a little breathlessly. On another plane, the entire site was glowing like a celestial rainbow. 

“That isn’t – all that isn’t from a church.”

“No, dear. I told you, it feels older. The humans have just built on it without really understanding it.” You got that sometimes, all over the world, settlements and places and buildings that somehow some deep core within the humans seemed to know where was important without understanding or seeing anything the way occult/celestial beings could. 

Aziraphale fidgeted a minute in his seat. 

“Well, are you going in? I remember this now, there’s a cracking Sheelagh over one of the doors.” Said Crowley impatiently. 

“When did you see that?” Aziraphale asked, “You can’t make it out from the road,”

“Road wasn’t there then,” Crowley shrugged, “and you know they don’t bless a place till they’ve built it. Builders always did have a sense of humour. Tried to get them to do an elephant but I don’t think they quite got it.”

Aziraphale smiled. He had wondered, over the years, at some of the more irreverent carvings found in various old churches, but had put it down to the humans, it looked as if his friend might have had a hand in the mischief. 

“Crowley, I should have known!”

“What? I didn’t do anything much to the carvings there- Sheelagh’s all their own work, you know how much she meant to them back then. The fact that it scandalises all the daytrippers of middle England now is just added entertainment.”

Aziraphale could picture it so clearly, Crowley wandering up to the builders and suggesting that maybe the way to get back at a cruel landowner or a stingy abbot might be to just change the faces of some of the choice carvings- the imps, the scenes of brimstone or punishment, or the odd dirty picture in tucked away corners. What a shame he would never get to see the works again after they had finished. 

“I think, my dear, I’ve seen enough. I saw a cider farm a few miles back- what say we retire there to see if the local brew still tastes the same?”

Crowley blinked at the change, “You sure, Angel? You don’t even want to see the elephant? It’s worth a look.”

Aziraphale smiled back at him. “I’m sure- I’d rather go somewhere we can go in together. And I’ve heard the cider is rather good.”

“Far be it from me to turn down a drink!” Crowley grinned, and turned away from the celestial lightshow back onto the narrow, leafy road out of Kilpeck.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 12 Days of Christmas Challenge 2020 Prompt 1: Unusual Place. 
> 
> The church of St Mary & St David, Kilpeck is well worth a visit as long as your feet can handle the consecrated ground ;) 
> 
> Also, Aziraphale is correct, Watkins' Cider Farm is very nearby if you happen to be knocking around that way. Excellent vareties of cider- sadly, as I am not Crowley, when I went I had to be content with an apple juice taste instead, such is the lot of the human designated driver.


End file.
